Alone
by tr1xx777
Summary: Squids back home after Camp Green Lake closes and he's homeless and unemployed. One of his old classmates helps him out but when he has to repay her, it comes at a cost.
1. Chapter 1

**Meant to be a one-shot but if you guys like it, I might continue!**

I bit on his fingernails nervously. Zigzag sat behind me, chatting up a storm with X-Ray and Armpit while I tried to follow the conversation I was having with Magnet and Twitch, but the truth was, I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about.

"What about you, Squid?" Magnet asked me and I looked at him with confusion. He laughed at me and shook his head before turning back to Twitch, "I told you he wasn't paying attention."

I laughed along a bit before Magnet rephrased his question, "What's the first thing you're going to do when you get back home?"

I shrugged, "Probably get a new toothpick." The boys howled with laughter as I took mine out of my mouth and tossed it on the ground and stomped it out like a cigarette with the bottom of my old sneakers. They were a bit too tight because I hadn't worn them for months and it felt weird to be wearing jeans, a hoodie and sneakers instead of the usual jumpsuit and boots.

"You know what I'm going to do?" X-Ray asked, joining in on our conversation along with the rest of D-Tent and some random ginger from E-Tent. He had managed to snag a backseat, along with the rest of us D-tenters. I don't even know his name, Hotsauce or something stupid like that.

"I'm going to take one long, _hot _shower." X-Ray finished and I saw Zigzag wrinkle his nose.

"Hot? You've been in the middle of the desert for _months_, why the hell would you want a hot shower? I'm bathing in ice for the next year!" I tried to laugh at Zigzags joke but it came out a little forced. I didn't think anyone else noticed until Ziggy gave me a weird look. Well, weirder than his usual looks.

"I'm gonna be eating my mama's brownies, when I get home!" Armpit cheered before muttering to himself, "Man, I miss those brownies."

"Same! I want some of mums nice hot burritoes!" Magnet exclaimed and Zigzag shook his head.

"Again with the hotness!"

"That's what she said." the ginger kid muttered and we all howled with laughter. Hotsauce - or whatever the hell his name was - smirked. "When I get back, I'm burning this damn jumpsuit." he said motioning to the orange jumpsuit that he was still wearing. He was the only one who was still wearing his.

After that, Magnet, Armpit, X-Ray and Twitch talked with Hotsauce about some random shit while I turned to look out the window. For once in the last few months, I didn't see any damn holes.

"What's up, man? You seem... weird." Zigzag frowned and I flinched. I hadn't even realized he wasn't talking with Hotsauce.

"Oh, don't you be telling me about who's weird." I laughed and Zig shrugged.

"But what's up?" I shrugged and looked at my hands. I wanted to tell him everything, about how I didn't exactly have anyplace to go, that there wasn't anything left for me back 'home.' But I didn't. Instead I just shrugged and said,

"Nothing, man. Just excited to be back."

The bus slowed to a stop and cheers erupted on the bus as people started filing out. I bit my lip as I followed them off the bus and towards a group of people. Parents were swarming their kids, telling them how much they loved them or scolding them on not writing as I looked around for my parents.

The crowd started thinning down as families left to go to a place that I would probably never have: home. Zigzag waved to me and told me he would stay in touch before walking away with his older brother. I sat myself down on a bench and began to wait.

There were only about ten kids waiting - none from D-tent - on the benches for parents who were late or didn't get the call that their children were being released from Camp Green Lake. Slowly, the number changed to about seven boys left, then three, and after about twp hours, it was just me.

I glanced at a clock through a window and saw that it was already 10:38. Realization finally hit me like a brick wall. My mom wasn't coming. Nobody was coming for me.

I curled up on the bench and felt my eyelids grow heavy. This is where I had to live now.

I was completely on my own.

**Well, here's a one-shot for all you Squid lovers out there. There just aren't enough Holes FF out there and I really encourage you to write. It can be anything; a one-shot like this, a girl-goes-to-CGL, or just a crackfic. There needs to be more in this Archive!**

**I have another Holes story which I am currently editing so it is all nice and stuff and you guys should go check it out. It's called "Angel: Welcome to Camp Green Lake"**

**Reeeeevieeeeeew!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Alone_

_tr1xx777_

_Chapter Two_

I woke up in my original spot at the bus station. I yawned and crawled out of the cheap secondhand sleeping bag that I got at the thrift shop, a block from my new 'home.'

A new day to look for a job and beg people for cash. Oh how I love my life. Note the sarcasm.

It's been two weeks since I've been let out of Camp Green Lake and I'm pretty sure I have the shittiest life out of all of D-tent. Including Dr. Pendanski who is serving time in prison. At least he gets three definite meals a day.

My mom left. Gone. Never to come back. I went over to the trailer park to try and find her and instead, I found a backpack full of my old clothes and an empty lot.

I trudged into Mo's Diner and took my usual spot in the corner. I had been coming here every morning since I got back, because they gave out free coffee and that's all I can afford at the moment until I get a job. Eventually, I might actually order some real food but for now, it was just coffee and water for me.

"Hey El." I nodded to my waitress. I used to go to school with her, she thank n the same grade as me but already graduated because I had to spend most of my senior year digging holes.

"Morning Squid." El nodded as she got the coffee ready. I was usually the first person to come to Mo's in the morning and I was always here before the coffee was actually made and El was usually the only one here other than the cooks.

El walked over to my booth like she did every morning as she fastened her long chocolate brown hair in a knot on the top of her head. She was honestly one of the prettiest girls I had seen and a lot of people agreed with me.

Back in High School, before Camp Green Lake, El had been a cheerleader and one of the popular kids. She wasn't like, the leader of the school but she definitely belonged higher up on the social ladder.

"Coffee and water?" El asked as she placed the days newspaper in front of me and I nodded. She knew what I wanted but she had to ask anyway, just in case I actually decided to order something.

I opened the newspaper and went straight to the Classifieds where they had the job listings. I scanned through the paper and looked for someplace that would consider hiring me.

Pet shop? No, I'm not exactly good with animals. The most I knew about that kind of stuff was not to get bit by a yellow spotted lizard. Because you will die. Always.

Bar? Too young to be serving alcohol.

MacDonald's? Well that's just degrading!

"Still lookin' for a job?" El asked as she slid into the booth with the coffee and glass of water. I nodded. "I've got a friend who's fiancé owns the HMV on fifth and he's looking for some people to work. I can put your name in."

I grinned, "really?"

El shrugged, "Sure, he'd like a guy like you."

"Thanks."

It was always polite chat between me and El. We weren't exactly friends but not enemy's either. We just talked before the customers started coming in and then I would leave and go look for some steady cash.

"Just tell him that El sent you." the brunette winked before the door to the diner opened and a few truck drivers walked in. "Nice talkin' to you, Squid."

I finished the rest of my coffee and waved goodbye to El once before leaving. I knew the place she was talking about, fifth street was only a block from here and I could be at HMV in a few minutes.

I started my trek to the CD store as anxiety pumped through my veins. I always felt like this before I went in for an interview or to hand in my résumé. I don't know why, it's not like I haven't tasted the defeat of rejection before and I was used to it.

HMV was already opened when I got there. I simply pushed open the door and walked in, taking a second to let my eyes adjust to the dim light. There was a man behind the counter and I assumed he was the guy who owned the place.

"Uh, hey, a friend of mine told me that you guys were hiring?" I shifted on my feet awkwardly, "El sent me."

The tattooed mans eyes lit up remarkably. "You know El? She's always been a good judgement of character! My fiancé is one of her best friends!"

"I'm, Alan, but you can just call me Squid. That's what everyone else calls me." I shrugged.

"Well, Squid, welcome to your new job! You're hired."

My jaw dropped. What the hell was going on? "W-wait, what?"

"If Ellie sent you then you must be a good guy. Start whenever you'd like."

Okay, this was just surreal. There was no way that this was happening. People don't just get jobs because they know the right people. I don't even know El, she's just my waitress!

"Er, yeah, okay?" I was still baffled to what was happening. This was just a dream, I'm going to wake up and be back at the bus station, or even better, back at Camp Green Lake. The guys are probably looking at me weird because I'm freaking out in my sleep!

The man, Jack, showed me all the things I needed to know. He gave me a clean black shirt and showed me how to work the cash register. I wasn't trained enough to handle my first customer but I did inventory.

By the end of the day, I was exhausted. I just wanted to curl up in a bed and sleep for a month, but I still had to go back to the diner and properly thank El. I know I'm not really the guy to go around thanking people or shit like that but the chick got me a job.

Besides, I need some coffee.

**Horrible, horrible chapter but it's all I've got so far. **


	3. Chapter 3

I walked into the diner and took my usual spot with a wide grin plastered on my face. El spotted me from behind the counter and did a small wave before grabbing the pot of coffee and sauntering over to where I was seated.

She slid into my seat like always and poured me a mug of coffee.

"So, how'd it go?" El smiled and I didn't even have to use words to let her know what happened. "You can th-"

"Eleanor Jameson!"

We both looked up to see a rather large man with a bald heard, storming over to our booth.

"Y-yes, Mr. Barlow?" El stuttered. I was still trying to get over the fact that her full name was Eleanor. I always thought that her parents were just really, really lazy in signing the paperwork and went with a two letter name.

"I am sick and tired of you cutting out of work to talk with this young man! You do not associate yourself with customers!" Mr. Barlow yelled, causing everyone to turn and watch the drama happening in the corner of the diner.

"M-Mr. Barlow, please, I know Squid. He isn't just a customer." El tried and I couldn't help but let my lips twitch upwards at that statement. I had always considered us just acquaintances.

"So? I know plenty of our customers but I don't feel the need to sit with them! Young man, are you bothered by Eleanor's presence?"

"No, Mr. Sir- Barlow. Not at all, Mr. Barlow" I answered instantly.

"What is your relationship with her exactly?" Mr. Barlow snapped. I opened my mouth to answer but El beat me to it.

"He's my boyfriend. We've been together for nearly a year now." El lied and I had to force the convincing smile onto my face. She did get me a job and if lying to my boss every now and then would repay her.

"SO YOU'RE IGNORING CUSTOMERS TO SPEND TIME WITH SOME... MANWHORE?"

Okay, hold up. What the fuck did that dickweed just call me? Fuck no, this is when I use the things Camp Green Lake taught me.

"What did you just call me?" I snarled. My eyes darkened and I took a step forward. Now, I'm not bragging or anything, but digging holes every day did me some good. Through my Tee-shirt, you could see the muscles and I could easily rip this ass apart.

"Squid, stop." El pleaded. She grabbed my clenched fist and tried to pull me back. "It's not worth it."

"You know what, Eleanor?" Mr. Barlow yelled, "I'm getting pretty sick of your slacking off-"

"She's the only one working here!" I interrupted and Mr. Barlow shot me a hatred filled glare.

"I'm done with you, there are better waitresses out there. You're fired."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I didn't mean to get her fired. El's face visibly paled and her hands dropped to her sides. "N-no, you can't!"

"And do tell me, Eleanor, why I can't?" Mr. Barlow was taunting her now.

"B-b-because I need this job and I-I-"

"That isn't a good enough reason."

"She's pregnant."

Everyone froze at once and slowly turned to me. Honestly, it just slipped out. I never meant in the slightest to say that but it's the first thing that came to mind. I mean, you can't fire a pregnant woman. That's just wrong.

"How far along are you?" Mr. Barlow asked, looking extremely shocked. "You don't look pregnant."

"Uh... Three months. No baby bump yet." El giggled nervously and rubbed her stomach for extra effect.

"I guess I can't fire you..." Cue collective sigh of relief, "but one more slip up and you're out of here the second that baby is born. Got it?"

"Y-y-yes Mr. Barlow."

The man walked away and people slowly went back to their regular duties. The two of us just stood there for a few minutes, with our jaws slack as the events replayed over and over in our minds. What the fuck just happened?

Suddenly, El turned and slapped me across the arm. Hard. "What the hell did you just do?" she hissed, quiet enough so no one else could hear us.

"Saved your ass!" I cried back, "I saw it on a movie once at Armpits place. It kind of just popped into my head and then out my mouth. Kind of like the baby your having..."

Another slap across the arm, "But I'm not actually knocked up, idiot! I can't just prance around pretending I'm pregnant!" El snapped and I smirked.

"Actually, you can. When the baby comes, we can just have a miscarriage. Then you'll get a few weeks off with payed vacation and then we go on with our lives like nothing happened."

"Except for the fact that I'm dating you." El pointed out and I lifted my hands up in defence.

"Hey, that one is totally on you."

"But now I have to be with you for nine months!"

"Six, actually. You're already three months pregnant, _babe_." I mocked, earning myself another slap. The only reason that I am actually taking the beatings is because I totally deserved them. Technically, I just knocked up the person who serves me coffee in the mornings.

"I don't want to do this, _honey_." El spat with distaste.

"Fine." I shrugged as I sat back down into my booth. "Go back to that 'handsome' man and tell him the truth. I'm not losing anything."

El stayed for a moment before letting out a defeated sigh, "I hate you."

"Love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

"You do know what this means, don't you?" El sighed as the last customer, save for me, left the diner. After she had finished flipping the open sign to closed, she had come to sit with me in my booth.

"That this is a very mysterious looking place at night and you're going to rape me in the corner?" I questioned and El's jaw dropped.

"Oh, gosh! Ew, Squid! Can you get your head out of the gutter for at least five seconds? Gross..." her nose was still wrinkled. "I meant that we are going to have to be two very convincing people. I'll need a fake belly, fake cravings, fake cramps and will have to fake pee a lot."

I chuckled at the last one. "Okay, this doesn't concern me at all. I don't have to eat weird ice cream/mustard combinations. You're the pregnant one, remember?"

El shot me a glare. "Actually, it totally concerns you. I am not doing this alone, you are going to be with me 100% through these next few months. But we have to do something to make it convincing..."

"Move in with me." I blurted. Fucking mouth! Why do I keep on saying the stupidest things around El that will no doubt, only get me into deeper shit?

El's eyes lighted up remarkably, "That's actually not that bad of an idea! Well, not me moving in with you, that's stupid, but you could be my roommate!"

Okay, hold up, what the fuck? That wasn't a good idea, that was a shitty, awful idea that makes me want to shoot myself in the head for.

"I need help paying the bills and with your new job..." El hinted. Oh, she wanted me for my money. Well, the money I'm about to get, I guess. "And since we need to convince everyone, you may as well stay over."

Me, being the idiot that I am, leaned closer on the table, "so we get to share a bed then, huh?"

El growled in frustration, "you are impossible! I meant that you sleep on the house and then whenever someone comes over, we act all couple-y and stuff. I hang a few photos of us up, and voila! We look like a family."

"Which will just so happen to fall apart in the next six months." I pointed out and El brushed it away.

"Details, details. But do you want to do this or not? I mean, you're going to be at work and school all the time anyway so it's not like we'll be seeing much of each other. It's just there to make this entire thing work."

I scratched my head like I was unsure of the idea, "Er, sure I guess. I've been meaning to move out of my friends place anyway. So sure." I shrugged like it was no big deal. Inside, my heart was hammering and I could feel my palms sweating up.

Play it cool, Squid, just be cool.

"Great, move in as soon as you can. The place is already furnished so don't show up at my doorstep with a bed or something."

I chuckled, "Alright then. But um, I don't exactly know where you live..." I hinted.

"Oh, right. Well, then I guess you can just come home now and sleep over tonight. Then tomorrow you can get your stuff and move in." El shrugged like it was an easy solution.

"Um...okay?" It came out like a question. El took that as the end of our conversation and stood up. She waved her hands to urge me to follow her out of the restaurant and into her small, beat up car. I guess waitressing wasn't doing her well. But then again, that's coming from a guy who works at a gas station and lives off of free coffee.

I slipped into the passenger seat as El took a few minutes to start up her car. It was actually really funny to watch. She would turn the key and the car would sputter for a minute and then die. She would do it a few more times until she slammed her hands against the wheel and let out a scream of rage.

Finally, I leaned over and twisted the key. It roared to life and El stared at me like I just fed a family of starving kittens.

"What can I say? I've got the magic touch." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"And the magic sperm that somehow manages to knock me up without us having sex." she muttered and I coughed awkwardly. I don't want to have the sex talk with her.

On the drive to her house, I stared out the window, taking in all the scenery. I passed by the bus station and spotted the bench where I usually slept. A small grin passed over my face when I realized that I would be sleeping in a nice, heated house with a roof over my head and food on my plate.

Even if I slept on the couch.

We pulled up to a small, one storied, brick house with a blue door that had the paint chipping off. The grass on the front lawn was mostly dead and had a white picket fence surrounding it. The fence posts were all scratched and some broken, but even then I couldn't help but feel joy swell in my heart at the sight of my temporary home.

"I know that it's kind of shitty, but you got me into this." El playfully glared at me as she led me up the small driveway and to the door. She pulled some keys out if her pocket and jammed one into the lock before twisting the door and letting me inside.

The house seemed even smaller on the inside. It had light, wooden floors and soft orange walls. The only carpeted aspect was the white carpet in the living room that went with a dark coffee table, a rather large television and bookshelves crammed with tons of pictures and a few books.

The lighting was dim and added to the whole cozy feel about the place. I loved it.

"Again, sorry that it kind of sucks." El apologized and I couldn't find the words to tell her how wrong she was. "But you can sleep there and help yourself to anything in the fridge." she pointed to the old, battered leather couch.

"It's not that bad you know, better than Camp Green Lake." I shrugged. It was the most I could manage without drawing suspicion.

"It's actually getting kind of late so I'm going to go to sleep. Blankets and pillows are in the closet so goodnight, I guess." El said, peeling off her apron and tossing it on the coat hanger. "Don't burn anything down."

"Aye-aye, ma'am." I saluted and she rolled her dark eyes.

"Goodnight Squid." she sighed.

"Night, Mama Bear." I winked as she disappeared down the hallway. She wasn't really the best at tours and so far I only knew where the living room was because that was the first thing you saw when you entered the house.

I guess I knew where the kitchen was too, because I could see the archway leading to a tiled floor. It was either the kitchen or the bathroom and I seriously doubt that El has an open door to her washroom.

I made my way to the couch and collapsed on the uncomfortable springs and posts. It was still more comfortable than a bench.

* * *

"Shouldn't I start off small?"

"No. The tag says three months and we told your boss three months, so you are getting three months." I snapped for the last time. "Just take the damn stomach and shove it in your damn bag. Or under your shirt."

We were standing in a maternity store, staring at a mannequin wearing a fake stomach. We checked the tags and finally found the one that said three months but El refused to take it because 'people's would know something was up if she just showed up to work, fat.'

"I don't want to steal..." El whined and I sighed. I ripped the stomach off the mannequin and shoved it under my own shirt.

"Look, you either take it or I am walking out of here like this. You can choose which one in more believable." I gave her the ultimatum and she stomped her foot in annoyance.

"You suck." she stated as I handed her the stomach. Glancing around quickly, she lifted up her shirt and quickly shoved it under, before strapping it on in the back. I took a step back and looked at her.

"Aw, Mama Bear is finally showing her bump." I grinned cockily and she slapped my arm.

"Can't I just have a miscarriage already?"

"And get fired? Be my guest." I shrugged. I knew that her job was the ultimate decision maker and I just had to remind her of the fact every time she tried to back out.

"Let's just go." El groaned. We started walking out when El stopped. She leaned in closer, "put your hand on my hip and pretend we love each other."

I didn't even have any time to react before El grabbed my arm and wrapped it around her waist and leaned into me. Damn, she smelt good.

"Eleanor? Is that you?"

El pretended to look shock as some blonde bimbo called out to her. "Ashley? What are you doing here?"

"I'm just here with my fiancé, Brad. You remember Brad, right?" 'Ashley' asked as she hugged a large guy who looked like he took steroids for breakfast.

Oh, I remember them! They went to my high school. El and Brad dated throughout most it. I think he asked her out in freshman year or something. Ashley was on the cheerleading squad.

"Yeah, we dated for four years remember?" El reminded coolly. "Until I found you two making out under the bleachers. Yeah, I definitely remember Brad."

I kind of wanted to laugh and the other half wanted to pay her on the back and say 'that shit sucks.' But instead, I just stood there. Ashley finally looked up at me.

"Oh hey, you're Alan right? Alan Smith?" I nodded. She glanced down at El's stomach, "wow you really knocked her up, huh? I'm surprised a screw up like you and El got together."

"Wow, El, I thought you had more class." Ashley giggled. I took that as my cue to jump in.

I snapped my fingers in realization, "oh hey, right! You're that girl that had your friends help you with the old clothes hanger technique. You do know they have a Planned Parenthood down on fifth?"

El snickered, "I remember that. I really thought you had more class." she mocked.

Ashley clenched her hands into fists. I could see Brads jaw shift as if he were grinding his teeth.

"So what exactly are you doing outside a maternity store anyway?" El asked, shifting the conversation.

"We're going to a baby shower. My aunt is having a baby and we were going to buy something." Brad answered because Ashley was clearly too furious to even make words.

"Ah, interesting." El pretended to be interested. She turned to me, "hey babe, when did you say we were meeting up with your friends?"

"Uh, right now." I played along. "We should probably get going."

"Lets go then. See you later, Ash." El rushed, pulling me farther and farther away from the couple.

"Right, we should do something together sometime, Eleanor. I really want to see more of you." Ash smiled through her teeth. We wave one last time before El pulled me around a corner and they disappeared from our vision.

"Oh. My. Gosh. That was amazing!" El jumped. "I fucking hate that bitch, the clothes hanger thing was brilliant, Squid. I honestly love you right now!"

"The pleasures all mine. I hate her too." I smirked. She used to throw her lunches on me at school until I finally snapped and dumped a pot of tomato soup on her head. Best day of my life.

"I really wish I was your friend in high school." El mused, "this is the funniest I've had in a long time."

**Don't kill me for the long wait! I'm sorry but these are hard to write! I don't know why I'm having such bad writers block! **


	5. Chapter 5

**Enjoy and don't be a silent reader. Please review!**

"Don't forget your lunch, honey." El mocked and I rolled my chocolate brown eyes. Flipping her off, I snatched my paper bag lunch off the counter and shoved it into my backpack. Ah, first day of this one year hell hole. You got to love it.

El was absolutely basking in the glory of her being graduated while I had to repeat my senior year. But then I reminded her that the fourth month of her 'pregnancy' was coming up and it would soon be time for her to grab the next stomach to wear under her clothes. We had decided to ease into the whole baby bum thing by making her wear baggy clothes so she didn't startle anyone when she just showed up to work with this enormous stomach.

Okay, a three month baby bump actually wasn't that big but you get what I'm saying.

"I have work after school and then I can meet up with you at the diner until your shift is done." I said as I sorted through my bag, making sure I had everything there. I only really needed a lunch (cafeteria food tastes like shit) and some notebooks. Caveman said that he would give everyone binders because his dad had a bunch of extras for storing notes on his 'creations.'

X-Ray would be picking us all up today with his new car. He had been saving up money before he was sent off to Camp Green Lake for a car, and a week before school started, he finally saved enough. It was a crappy used car that had a cracked windshield and stains on the seat but he was proud.

I told him that I would meet him at Hinder Park, a run down park near El's place, and he happily agreed. I would be the last person picked up, and then after we would drive straight to school. Lucky us.

"Are you actually going to order something this time or should I just have coffee ready?" El asked sarcastically and I laughed in response.

"Please. I thought you knew me better than that, El. I don't _eat from the Diner! _Are you high?" I laughed and waved her off.

"The day you actually order food, I'll set off a party popper. Just for you." El replied sarcastically. All our conversations were pretty much just us having witty comebacks at each other until the topic changed.

I placed my hand over my heart in mock affection, "Thanks, doll. I feel loved."

"You should!" El called as I opened the front door and walked out. I didn't hear anything from her after because I already started walking down the driveway.

I sighed as I passed her car. I asked El if I could take her car to school but she just laughed in my face. She had gotten shorter hours at the diner because of the whole pregnant thing and didn't start work until I was already half done my first class. It also meant that she got let off work at around the same time I finished so it was beneficial for all of us. I could get a ride home and she didn't have to work as long.

This 'fake pregnancy' thing isn't so bad after all.

I was at Hinder park and took a seat on the roughed up bench, covered in graffiti, as I waited for X and the rest of D-tent to show up. The only people who weren't getting a ride were Magnet and Armpit. They both lived in the same apartment building, right across the street from the High School. Well, Zero didn't need a ride either because he never went to school a day in his life and even though he should have been in high school (just starting grade 10) he was being homeschooled until he could catch up with the rest of us.

X-Rays black Jeep pulled up and I jogged up to it, tossing my bag in the back seat, on top of Zigzag. "Hey guys, what's up?" I had barely seen them since we've gotten home from CGL and I was genuinely glad to be seeing them again.

"Not much man, just ready to get this year over, am I right?" X replied.

"Right." I agreed. One does not simply tell X-Ray that he is wrong. It just doesn't happen.

I twisted around in the passengers seat so I was facing Caveman, "Binder?" he didn't answer, he just handed me a black binder that smelled suspiciously of feet. Too bad Caveman's dad didn't spray the binder with Sploosh. It smelled nasty!

The drive to the school was only a few minutes and was filled with small chatter and us joking around about how we'd beat those shit faced jocks any day. Not like we would have a problem with bullies or anything, we were all pretty ripped. Even Stanley was pretty big, but I'm pretty sure that was just a case of too many cupcakes after dinner.

"I can't wait for cheerleaders man, those girls were hot." Zigzag smiled and we all howled with laughter. Don't I know it! I'm living with a former cheerleader.

"Ugh, I'm not, man! Those girls were evil." Twitch added. He was actually in the grade below us and would have to deal with those 'evil' cheerleaders for a whole year by himself after we graduate. Or drop out.

"But you have to admit, they aren't so bad to look at." X-Ray laughed and we all joined in. "I'd tap that piece of ass any day of the week."

"No dirty comments, Squid? I'm surprised." Caveman joked and the boys turned to stare at me. The only reason I wasn't joining in on their banter was because the only cheerleaders I could imagine were El and that witch, Ashley or something. It'd be weird with either of them.

"Nah, man, I have more class than that." I winked, "I keep it all in my mind." I grinned, tapping my temple. And it's a good thing that I do keep it locked away in my head, because if I randomly started talking about pregnant women and living with El, the first place they'd leave me was at an insane asylum. I'd rather go live at Camp Green Lake than with the crazies.

Although there were quite a few who were off their rockers back at CGL. Example: Zigzag.

We reached the school to find Magnet and Armpit were already waiting at the front doors for us. We had to push past a group (read: cult) of pyromaniacs to get to them but we got there. We did our little manly handshake things that guys do before getting out of the warzone of new students and into the school.

The halls were even worse. They were packed with freshmen trying to find their homeroom and seniors shoving the 'losers' into lockers. We shoved past everyone until we finally found an empty area to look at our schedules for the semesters. I had math, homeroom, with Caveman and X-Ray. After that I had shop with Zigzag and Armpit, then Science with Magnet and finally, heath studies with Zigzag, X-Ray and Caveman. I had all my classes with D-Tent.

I headed to homeroom with X and Caveman and we took a seat in the back, just chilling until our teacher got there. I recognized a few people from last year and I could see that they clearly knew who I was. El told me about all the rumors that happened after I was sent to Camp. Some people thought I just dropped out, others thought I was skipping town and the rest thought I was sent to prison for murdering my father.

My father left when I was three so unless I was a very sick child, I never murdered a soul.

"Heeeellooooo, children." A woman in her late forties danced (no joke) into the room, waving her arms around like she was trying to cast a spell as took her place at the front of the room. "I am Miss. Poulterhanst. Can you say that with me kids? Pole-ter-hansssssst"

Nobody said it with her.

I remember her from last year. She was my English teacher.

When her eyes set on me, a confused look crossed her features. "Alan? But I thought you dropped out?"

Wow, thanks for announcing that to the entire class, you disgusting wench.

"Nope." I grinned, popping the p, "I got arrested."

Miss. Poulterhanst looked horrified as she whirled around and stalked over to her desk. I could already tell that this would be a long year.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, if my lazy ass can update then so can yours! We need more holes writers!**

School was as shitty as I remembered it. Annoying jocks walked down the halls like they owned the world while their groupies followed behind, trailing after like lost puppies. 'Socially unacceptable' people stood off to the side and gawked at the rulers of the school while the guys and I just laughed at everyone.

After spending months in the dessert, digging away you life, and living with a bunch of criminals, insane counsellors and dangerous lizards, you start to not care as much about where you stand on the social ladder.

I made my way to the cafeteria and took a seat at the table that my buds were at. They all brought their own lunches because I warned them how bad cafeteria food really was.

"You're in our spot, douches." a voice behind us roared and I glanced back to see these said jocks, sneering at us like we were a bunch of vermin.

"Get a new spot then." Magnet shrugged, not giving shit if that meant he got beat up or not.

One of the football players - the quarterback - grabbed Magnets shoulder and yanked him back roughly. Magnet fell backwards and landed on the linolium floor. Instantly, we all shot up with our fists clenched and ready for a fight.

"Now move, losers." The quarterback spat and the girls behind them giggled loudly. Everyone in the cafeteria seemed to be watching us but nobody would dare get in the way.

Armpit (who is the biggest dude, other than Caveman, that I have ever seen) took a step forward so he was towering over the jock with a snarl on his face. He cracked his knuckles and stared down at the idiot.

"You wanna repeat that?" Armpit smirked and stared down the guy.

The jock was either blind or ridiculously stupid because he did the _worst_ possible thing anyone could have done. _He spat in Armpits face._

All at once, the two groups just broke out into a huge fight. Armpit started pummeling that guys face in like there was no tomorrow, Zigzag kicked someone's legs out from under them and X-Ray and Magnet were fighting back to back. As for me, I didn't realize that I was in the centre of this big mess until I felt a blow to my face by some idiot.

I lifted my fingers to my nose to pull it back to find it was dripping blood. I slowly looked up to see the same jock staring smugly at his handy work. _Idiot. _

I tackled the douche to the ground, thrashing my arms and legs around to get as much damage done to him as possible. The jock looked shocked at first that I was actually this strong and it took him a moment to react, but by then, he had a nice bruise forming on his eye.

All too soon, the fight broke up. Teachers had got in the way and yanked me off the football player. They had done the same to everyone else.

Nearly everyone other than Caveman, who hadn't even laid a lunch the whole time, had a bloody nose and a purple mark forming somewhere on their body. For me, I could feel a throbbing pain in my shoulder that would no doubt bruise.

"All of you," the principal screamed, "get out! Don't come back until tomorrow and I better not see this happen again!"

He had that 'do not fuck with me' face so like the good people we are, we followed his orders. Actually, we all started to argue until X-Ray just told us to shut the fuck up and leave. I realized his motives after we were off school property.

"Dude, we get the rest of the day off! How sick is that!" X-Ray cheered and we all grinned. The rest of the day, eating from El's fridge and not giving a damn of what was going on at school. That sounded pretty good to me.

"I, for one, am going to that park across town where all the babes play frisbee." Twitch smirked, cracking his knuckles. "Anyone care to join me? I've got a sweet ride." he nodded his head to a slick red sports car. His fingers started twitching.

X-Ray punched him playfully on the arm, "No, idiot. I'm not getting sent to some place worse than that hell hole we call CGL."

"I'm actually going to go get some lunch from a diner close by." I excused myself. How funny would El's reaction be to me getting kicked out of school on the first day?

"You're passing up hot chicks for food?" Magnet wrinkled his nose, "Who are you and what have you done with Squid?"

I snorted, "Maybe I've already got a hot chick of my own?" I muttered. I didn't even realize I had said anything until I looked up to see everyone staring at me with shocked eyes. Whoops.

"_You've_ got a girlfriend?" Armpit asked in a disbelieving tone. "No way, man."

"I never said I had a girlfriend." I shrugged, "I just said I knew a hot chick."

Fuck my life, I never should have said anything.

"What's her name?" Caveman asked, genuinely interested. Actually, they were all genuinely interested, he just looked like he was more intrigued with the girl herself than the fact that I managed to 'snag a girlfriend.'

"It doesn't matter, forget I said anything." I dismissed it. "I actually have to go ow so..."

I didn't wait for an answer, I just turned around and started in the direction of where El worked.

I think that was the longest walk I've ever taken to get to one place because I wanted to make sure that the guys weren't following me. If they did and saw a slightly pregnant chick who I clearly was more than just aquatinted with, all hell would break loose.

When I finally reached the diner, I pushed open the door with a shit eating grin on my face. This was going to be hilarious. El was sorting out menus at the front of the diner and glanced up briefly to see it was me before looking back down again.

The fact that I was standing in front of her, bloodied and bruised, smiling and definately not in school where I should be, hit her like a freight train. At first, she just froze, still staring at the maroon colored menus in her hand before her head slowly turned up.

And then the menus slipped from her hands and her jaws dropped. "Oh my-"

I chuckled as the brunette rushed towards me, grabbing my face in her hands and staring at where the blood was coming from. "What happened?" she gasped. "And why the fuck aren't you in school?"

"They kicked me out for the day." I shrugged. The next thing I knew, I was being dragged off to the washrooms and a clump of napkins were getting shoved at my face. "Apparently fighting isn't allowed."

"Are you fucking insane? Obviously fighting isn't allowed!" I couldn't help but laugh athow distressed El looked, not to mention pissed off. For the millionth time since I moved in with her, she slapped me across the arm. "Can you please be serious for five seconds! Why did you get beat up?"

I huffed, "I did not get _beat up_! You should have seen the other guy!" El slapped me again, this time on the shoulder where I had landed when I tackled the guy. "You should be thankful. The guy was making fun of you, he said you didn't add enough cream to your coffee."

"Squid!" El snapped and looked like she was about to slap me again. My shoulder was still throbbing so I decided the truth might actually be the right choice for now.

"Okay, okay. Some jock spat in Armpits face!" I surrendered and El looked even more frazzled and pissed than my first excuse.

"ARMPITS DON'T HAVE FACES!" El shrieked, probably loud enough for all the other customers to hear from outside the ladies washroom, which smelt delicious by the way! I don't know if girls piss perfume or something but the men's washroom is rancid compared to this.

"I'm talking about my friend, Armpit!" I hissed quietly. I'm pretty sure her idiot of a boss wouldn't want noise complaints about armpits. "Not my armpit! Armpit is one of my buddies from Camp! A group of football players tried to make us move tables and one of them spat in Armpits face."

Realization spread over El's features. "Oh." then confusion, "Why the fuck would you pick a fight with a football player? Let alone a group of them."

I scoffed, "Excuse me, have you _seen_ me? I could take on Godzilla."

El snorted, "Right."

"Fine, don't believe the cold hard facts. Just go make me a coffee woman." I ordered and my 'girlfriend' rolled her chocolate brown eyes before pushing the bathroom door open and leaving.

Not wanting to be left alone in the Woman's washroom, I quickly followed, and thankfully, no one was watching. El and I split ways as I walked over to my booth in the corner and she went to go make me a coffee.

Hopefully she got my hint from before and added more cream.

**IMPORTANT!**

**Please, please, please check out my poll on my profile! There might be a chance that I might win a good amount of money and instead of keeping it, I'm donating it to charity. Help me choose the charity!**


	7. Chapter 7

"El, where's all the food?" I yelled from the kitchen. How did this chick survive? There was literally only mustard in there. Okay that may be a slight exaggeration but the lady is pregnant (kinda) for Pete's sake! She should learn to stock her fridge in case any weird 'cravings' come on.

Okay, that was totally just an excuse for her to have better food. But when I came home from work today - she had come home earlier for some reason - I went straight to the fridge and was greatly disappointed.

I squirted some spray cheese in my mouth (one of the few things that she actually did have) and walked down the hall to her bedroom. I heard talking and just kind of assumed that she was on the phone.

That was a mistake on my behalf.

I barged in, still spraying cheese in my mouth, my hair messed up and still wearing my black HMV shirt to find that El wasn't alone. There were two other people in the room with her; a man and a woman, both dressed like they were about to offer tea and crumpets.

"Uh..." Wise words Alan Smith everybody.

"Mom, Dad, this is Squid. My Baby Daddy." El introduced as I just continued to stare with my cheese filled mouth and the can of spray cheese in one hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, Squid, darling." El's mother greeted and held out a gloved hand that I hesitantly took and shook. She was British, like ridiculously British. I bet she really was about to offer me a crumpet.

I set the can down on El's cluttered desk as her father introduced himself.

"Nice to meet you, Squid." Her dad was Texan. He had a deep voice and looked kind of like those people who are sittin on their horses as they herd cattle right in the middle of the road. You might not know what I'm talking about but it's about as annoying as someone who has sneezing fits in the middle of restaurants.

Her dad looked kind of uncomfortable in the suit that he was wearing. His wife probably made him wear it.

"So... Why don't we have some supper?" El said clapping her hands together and looking around for a response.

"We can't." I said bluntly. El's eyebrow shot up as I lifted up the can and held it in front of her face. "I just ate our food supply."

El laughed while her parents looked unamused. Quickly, she clamped her mouth shut.

"Why don't we go out for tea then, hm?" The Brit offered and I fought the undying urge to cringe. I could see El looked about ready to kill herself as well.

"Sure." El muttered. "Just let me grab my purse..." El's purse consisted of a beat up old bag that was hanging together by duct tape. I'm not even kidding, she just has a line of duct tape where the zipper was supposed to be.

"Oh honey..." El's mom gasped and placed her hand over her heart. "Oh, baby I'm so sorry!"

El and I stared at her for a minute, both wondering what she was talking about. I followed her line of sight to El's purse before looking back up at her devastated face. She was acting as if she just ran in on her daughter eating from the trash can, not just having a shitty purse.

"Um..." El started, "I don't really have time to go shopping, with work and everything."

El's dad glared at me. "The man should be the one to provide, not the little lady." he spat. This was not turning out well.

"Dad!" El snapped, "Guys, just seriously stop! I'm going on maternity leave eventually, anyway. Besides, I like feeling like I'm contributing when I have a job. And for the record, I don't mind having a crappy purse. It gets the job done."

If we were alone, I would make a crack about other things that get the job done but I figured that her parents wouldn't appreciate that very much. And to be honest, her dad kind of reminds me of Mr. Sir. Its quite terrifying that there were more than one of them walking around.

"Shall we go then?" her mom asked with a voice that sounded like she really didn't want to let the subject go.

"Yeah..." El said reluctantly as she came to walk beside me as her parents led the way. "Kill me now." She mouthed to me and I nodded my head in agreement before pretending to take out a gun and shoot her.

We ended up going to this little cafe that sold tea and biscuits and all that girly shit. We sat at a tiny table that barely had enough room to fit everyone else's tea and my coffee. El's mom (which I still had no idea what to call her) was studying me with judging eyes as I nervously sipped my coffee.

The second the hot liquid touched my tongue, I wanted to spit it back out. Slightly choking on it, I set the drink back down and wrinkled my nose. El giggled at my response as she sipped at her own tea.

"Not good?" El asked and I nodded. "They didn't add any sugar, and too much cream. They also add dark chocolate shavings to the coffee beans." This woman knows way too much about coffee.

El waved down the waiter, "Can you please remake his coffee except make it with two sugars, calm your tits down about the cream and forget the chocolate? That shit's nasty." she ordered pointing to my mug. Once the waiter left, I turned to El.

"You know, you didn't have to do that." I smirked. I mean, I didn't want to drink gross milk that had a hint of coffee in it, but we literally just became _those_ people in restaurants in a matter of seconds.

"Meh, they need to get their shit together." El shrugged.

"Eleanor, stop swearing in this nice cafe!" El's mom spat, "Have a little class for once, why don't you?"

"Mum-"

"No!" she roared and everyone looked over at our table, "you are such an embarrassment to the Jenkins family name!"

The cafe was completely silent as El glared at her mother. Finally, the brunette got to her feet and slung her purse over her shoulder, "This is why I changed my name." she snapped and stormed away.

Mrs. Jenkins looked at me like a deer caught in headlights as I snarled at her, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I snapped, "that's your daughter, not some dog that pissed all over your shoes! She deserves a little respect!"

With that, I stood up and stomped out of the cafe, in the direction El went. I started jogging when I spotted her in the distance and grabbed her shoulder to turn her around when I finally caught up to her.

I have no idea what happened, but the second I touched her, she broke down. El wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest as she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"I'm such a screw up!" El cried as I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her small frame. I could feel the baby bump squishing underneath our bodies but I'n pretty sure El didn't care about that at the moment. "Nothing I ever do is good enough!"

"You're not a screw up, El." I told her.

She started shaking her head, "No, I am. I thought that in High School, I was so much better than everyone else because I was a cheerleader and I was friends with the popular kids. But since I graduated, everything's just gone to shit!"

I let her rant on, "I have a horrible job, I can barely afford to keep food in the fridge and my parents think I'm the equivalent to a drown rat."

Once she was done, I carefully pulled her away from my body and stared her straight in the eyes. "El, I promise you, you're not a screw up. And this is coming from the ultimate fuck up. I think I know my stuff and I can confidentially promise you that you are beautiful, funny and caring. Every flaw that those morons see isn't there."

"Really?" the brunette sniffles and rubbed the black tears from her face.

"Absolutely." I reassured her, "and if you want me to beat up everyone who tells you otherwise, I will."

El laughed slightly, "That's okay, I think I'm good for now."

"Just saying, my offer still stands." I held my hands up and she playfully punched me. I glanced down at her belly that we had sufficiently squished. "But you may want to fix your baby bump."

El glanced down to see how crooked and messed up it was and quickly worked on fixing it. Once it looked relatively normal, we started walking home. We just reached her front door when she turned to me and smiled, "Thank you." and then she placed a small kiss on my cheek.

El didn't let me reply before she ran inside but for the next minute or two, I just stood outside the bright blue door, touching my cheek where her lips once were.


End file.
